day 3 - parents
Tuesday, August 03, 2010 @ 10:07:00 pm
This could really go on for ages like Jenny Park but too bad I don’t have the time or the patience to do it. I really dislike it when my parents don’t understand me and how they don’t trust me being with my friends. They have some generalisation that all 15- and 16- year olds make up all the crimes in this world and apparently I’m associated with the ‘bad people’. Sometimes I just get annoyed and try to retaliate. But I can’t, because then I’m not respecting them.
I do recognise that if it weren’t for my parents, then I wouldn’t be where I am now, but I also realise that with them here restraining me from doing anything, I won’t be able to get anything that allows me to progress into the next stage of creating any sort of bond with my parents.
The only time my parents decide to notice me is when I have done something wrong or when I’ve made a flaw. Sadly, even when I overcome one flaw, they somehow find another one to pick one. When I have achieved something commendable, they dismiss it as if it was something normal and I could get better.
I figure I shouldn’t badmouth my parents so much considering how much they have done for me. But honestly, I would like to have a bit more control over my life. I get told what to do at home, at school at anywhere. The only escape I have is to sleep, that’s why I pretend to be asleep all the time that they’re around. Otherwise, I just have to be the obedient little girl that they always hoped for but never got because it’s me and not some other family friend’s daughter.
I really also despise how I get compared to other people and not to the score overall. For example 90% is considered stupid when a family friend got 95%. Ridiculous. But now I feel guilty for saying so many bad things about you. Look, I’ll dedicate a whole paragraph to all the good things you do for me.
Thanks for looking after me these 15 years of my life in which all my achievements that I have received haven’t been worth very much. Thank you for supporting me with money and an education some discipline and a lot more that I should be thankful for. I hope in the future that I will be able to be more open with you and you won’t criticise everything that I do that I can have a more honest relationship with you and I can tell you about my friends and how good they are to me and how my marks aren’t up to your standard but I won’t have to hide them from you because you’ll understand that I’m not as good as you were when you were in school.
On top of that, I’m living in the 21st century. 88.
Labels: 30 day challenge
